Monday, November 26, 2012

13 weeks!!

I have been gone longer than normal and for that I apologize. I thought it would be best to stay offline for a little bit to help ease some of my first time mommy worries. Between work and the holidays, some time to myself was needed. However I am back and ready to update!

Ok where do I begin?
Well November 14th I scheduled my NT scan. This is a type of screening that looks at your odds for carrying a child with Trisomy 21 (Down syndrome) Trisomy 18 and Trisomy 13. I do not plan to abort my child if tested positive but this is something I would like to process ahead of time.
 At the time I assumed I was 11.4 weeks. However after the technician measured me she informed me that I was measuring 10.6 weeks and they could not perform the scan. Although I know women can measure behind, it did not make me feel any better that MY BABY was measuring behind. To begin with low betas, then fret for 2 weeks about not seeing a fetal pole and then to be told there is one well this was just not helping.
I forgot to ask the heart rate at the time but I'm pretty sure I saw her write on the screen 128bpm. I thought this was low however I know that 120-180bmp is normal and that the heart rate goes down when they are sleeping. I'm pretty sure mine was knocked out.  I did get a picture which is nice and it was the first time I saw my little Ducky.

Ok so fast forward to my rescheduled NT scan a week later (the day before Thanksgiving). I was alone; hubby was getting everything ready in the house since we had to leave straight for Vermont after my appointment. My heart was racing and I just kept praying to God that no matter what I see or hear today to please give me the strength to get through it.
Well the only bad news I have to share is they had to give me the transvaginal ultrasound because baby was in a bad position. I cannot wait to "graduate" from that thing because it is uncomfortable as hell.
The good news you ask? Ducky was back to measuring closer to what I should have been. Going off of what they told me last week I assumed that I was 1 day shy of 12 weeks that morning but they measured me at 12.2 weeks! Baby's heart rate was also in the 150's. I was so relieved to hear all this.
Now my appointment was almost rescheduled because the baby would not move! I drank OJ; I bounced around, sucked on a lollipop, ate a health bar and had the technician jiggle me for 45 minutes. Ducky was not having it. S/he was asleep and comfortable. I saw Ducky wiggle here and there but s/he was not getting in the right position. Finally something worked and I remember hearing the technician say "oh there it is perfect nasal bone!" I though "Well of course, have you seen its mother?" (I'm a fat girl but my nose and feet are my vanities, lol). Although the appointment was horribly uncomfortable, it was wonderful to see my little Ducky again. To see it move is just incredible, I swear I even though I saw it stick its tongue out.
I was handed a paper afterwards saying my screen test indicated with 95% reassurance that my baby is not affected by Trisomy 21, 18 or 13. I have an appointment next week with my OB to fully go over the lab results but hey good news is good news.
I received another picture as well which is what we used to announce our pregnancy on Facebook the day after Thanksgiving. I'm pretty sure I can say everyone knows I'm pregnant now. No turning back. I thought about how miserable I would be to have to undo this if something were to happen but I also thought to myself this baby is real and it exist. If I lose it I don't want to just push it behind me and pretend it never happened. I want to grieve it and I want people to know it is my child and was once part of my life.
So for now I will continue on with positive thoughts as I start the 2nd trimester.

I can't wait till the day I can hold you my sweet baby <3
 Quaking on,

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The most beautiful sound!

I had my first official OB appointment today at 10.4 weeks.
They tried using the fetal doppler on me but the PA I had didn't think we were going to find it on the doppler this early.
She was right! to an ultrasound I went. I was super happy since I was told I would not get any until 20 weeks but they needed to hear the heartbeat. Who am I to argue? (grinning from ear to ear)

Now I began taking off my pants until I notice the technician was looking at me funny. Apparently I was getting a regular ultrasound not a transvaginal one as I had become so accustomed to. (akward!)
Well since the baby was so little and it wasn't a transvaginal ultrasound (plus an empty bladder) we were not able to really see the baby. The technician showed me a flicker of the heartbeat and I'll admit I could not see what in the world she was talking about but I smiled and nodded.
When it was time to measure the heartbeat I heard the most beautiful sound of my life..
I was in a trance just listening to this strong, fast & wonderful beating.
I couldn't stop smiling, for the first time I fully understood that their is life growing inside me. I think I have been half convinced that I'm not really pregnant, it's all just a hysterical dream and that I am going to wake up at any moment.
It was a lovely 175bpm
My Dh wasn't able to come with me today, he sounded so disapointed not to have been there but we have our NT scan next Wednesday. I know he is going to feel the way I do when he sees and hears the baby next week.
I am so in love, so utterly in love.