Friday, September 21, 2012

Womb-mate Found!!!!

I still can't believe it. I really can't.
Yesterday I found out that I am PREGNANT!!!!!
I can’t even think straight.
Ok so here is what happened…

Wednesday night I had spoken with my DH about moving our 1st IUI for October. I was expecting some resistance but there was none. He was on board and I could not wait for Friday to come any faster so I could get AF and schedule our IUI.

Well yesterday morning my temperature was still climbing up which is very unusual for 14dpo (for me). However I have been having some restless nights of sleep which is why I didn’t think much of it. I still decided to test just to check. I pulled out a cheap wondfo test and began. Within 2-3 minutes  a line appeared. It was faint but not-squinting your eyes faint. I still though, “great another indent” so I pulled yet another wondfo and tested with that one. Once again, another line appeared.

I frantically started searching for my FRER which I could not find (worst possible moment) so I hid my little cup of pee under the sink and without even changing or looking at myself in the mirror I ran out the door and to CVS I flew!

I bought a box of FRER’s and a Digital Clearblue. I managed to lock myself out of the house so I had to wake up my DH to let me in. I told him I had gone out to buy pads. He bought it.
As soon as he went back to the bedroom I went straight for the bathroom, I was on a mission!

Positive FRER……Pregnant says Clearblue….

Can this be real? I begin to cry. I can’t remember the last time I cried of pure joy. I’ve never understood people who cry when they're happy. Until yesterday…..”Oh I believe in yesterday”

All my plans went out the window. I thought about how I wanted to tell DH at the 49ners game next Sunday. Oh my God! But how could I wait 10 days? Nope, not happening.
I walked into the bedroom and said to him “Baby we won’t be able to do IUI this month” in the saddest voice I could manage.
He looked at me curiously “Why?”
“Because I don’t think they perform IUI’s on pregnant women! I’m pregnant, I’m pregnant!”
I began to sob again, he was speechless and I pulled him into the bathroom to show him all 3 tests. We hugged as I continued to sob. It was surreal.
I also presented him with the onesie that I’ve had for 3 years in my closet. I bought it the first time I thought I was pregnant. We weren’t married then and children weren’t on my mind but I was late (this is before I learned so much about this process) and I wanted to give him something.
I practically shoved that onesie in his face, I was so glad I could finally show him!

We didn’t talk to much that morning since I think we were both taking it in. Later that evening we both shared how unfocused we were at work, how we wish we could tell all the people we love right now and how my DH no longer wants to be surprised, he wants to know the sex of the baby, lol

I have a doctor’s appointment this upcoming Tuesday. Luckily I have a pap smear coming up and they don’t mind taking me early. I am only 4 weeks along. I hope and I pray every day for this little ducky to stick with all its might.

Cautiously but Happily Quaking On,
~JD

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

12dpo.....BFI

So here is my update on this Soy Isoflavones adventure...
12dpo, toss and turned this morning before waking up and wound up taking my temperature a half hour earlier than I normally do. I only mention this because my temperature was unusually high for 12dpo making my chart look way too promising.
This morning I grab a cheapy wondfo test since I have a bunch and I don't want to use my last FRER yet.
So what were the results you’re wondering? A BIG FAT INDENT that appeared within the allotted time period.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

At least this time I know what it is and am NOT getting my hopes up in the least bit. I also will not be submitting it for a tweak just to have someone draw a heart over it and call it a BFP (that was so freaking heartbreaking)

I understand it’s not over until AF comes so I promise to keep some hope alive (she says ever so sarcastically) but I just don’t think this is my month. I will test again on Friday since that is when AF is supposed to begin. I figured if it’s positive then YIPPEEE! and if it’s negative…well than at least its Friday.

As for symptoms. I don’t have anything out of the usual. My breasts are still tender which I believe by now they shouldn’t be however I am on Soy so anything goes this month. I just hope that I don’t get a super heavy AF.

I don’t know if it is the sensitive nature I am in right now but for the past 2 days I have been wanting to convince my DH to just do the IUI in October. I swear I have been as patient as I can be during this journey but I think it finally happened. I have snapped. I want it NOW, I want to be pregnant NOW, I want to make my mom and my mom-in law grandmothers NOW, I want to make my DH a father NOW….NOW, NOW, NOW.
I thought about this a lot yesterday. I came to this conclusion. If we start in December I am going to be doing something horrible to myself. You see I love Christmas. That is an understatement. I am CRAZY FOR CHRISTMAS TO THE INFINITY POWER. I’m a hopeful but logical person and I know that there is a very good possibility of an IUI not working the first time around. So the idea of getting a BFN after a medicated cycle WITH medical assistance on Christmas (with my luck it will probably be around then) I will be more than your average “not this month sadness”. I will be DESTROYED!
If I start in October, it will be the normal sadness. I love Halloween but it wouldn’t be the same.
I’ve asked my DH about it before. He wasn’t completely opposed but not completely on board. He really wants an August baby but I can’t guarantee it will take in December anyways.
Hmmm I’ve got a lot of thinking to do…

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

My DH's Birthday Goals

Hello!
It’s been awhile since I have posted so please forgive me.
September is a very busy month in a University's academic calendar year and I have been working non-stop! Seriously is it Christmas yet?
So my DH's birthday was this past Monday. I made dinner, we went to try out some pumpkin ales and had a jolly good time overall.
Later in the evening before bed we were talking about this new year for him and he decided he was going to write goals to accomplish before he turns 29 next year. At first he did 5 but thought it would be much more challenging to do 28. We had so much fun writing it and I can't wait to see him complete them.
Now he did write down (all on his own accord) "Father a child". I made him add "with first wife" since I don't need any "surprises". You have heard of the phrase "careful what you wish for?" lol.
After we went to bed I started thinking, what if we can't accomplish that within a year? I mean hell it’s already been more than a year now and both him and I don't need that kind of pressure.
I don't want him to remove it because I like it when he and I are on board with this TTC adventure together and I am already very aware that there are couples out there that aren't.
So I wrote an extra goal for him (without him knowing) and placed it inside our hope chest. This way if that one doesn't get accomplished he still would have completed 28 goals. Ain’t I clever?

What's the goal you may ask? Simple really....."Be the best husband ever"....honestly, he could never fail with that one. :)

Quacking on,
  ~JD