Tuesday, September 18, 2012


So here is my update on this Soy Isoflavones adventure...
12dpo, toss and turned this morning before waking up and wound up taking my temperature a half hour earlier than I normally do. I only mention this because my temperature was unusually high for 12dpo making my chart look way too promising.
This morning I grab a cheapy wondfo test since I have a bunch and I don't want to use my last FRER yet.
So what were the results you’re wondering? A BIG FAT INDENT that appeared within the allotted time period.

At least this time I know what it is and am NOT getting my hopes up in the least bit. I also will not be submitting it for a tweak just to have someone draw a heart over it and call it a BFP (that was so freaking heartbreaking)

I understand it’s not over until AF comes so I promise to keep some hope alive (she says ever so sarcastically) but I just don’t think this is my month. I will test again on Friday since that is when AF is supposed to begin. I figured if it’s positive then YIPPEEE! and if it’s negative…well than at least its Friday.

As for symptoms. I don’t have anything out of the usual. My breasts are still tender which I believe by now they shouldn’t be however I am on Soy so anything goes this month. I just hope that I don’t get a super heavy AF.

I don’t know if it is the sensitive nature I am in right now but for the past 2 days I have been wanting to convince my DH to just do the IUI in October. I swear I have been as patient as I can be during this journey but I think it finally happened. I have snapped. I want it NOW, I want to be pregnant NOW, I want to make my mom and my mom-in law grandmothers NOW, I want to make my DH a father NOW….NOW, NOW, NOW.
I thought about this a lot yesterday. I came to this conclusion. If we start in December I am going to be doing something horrible to myself. You see I love Christmas. That is an understatement. I am CRAZY FOR CHRISTMAS TO THE INFINITY POWER. I’m a hopeful but logical person and I know that there is a very good possibility of an IUI not working the first time around. So the idea of getting a BFN after a medicated cycle WITH medical assistance on Christmas (with my luck it will probably be around then) I will be more than your average “not this month sadness”. I will be DESTROYED!
If I start in October, it will be the normal sadness. I love Halloween but it wouldn’t be the same.
I’ve asked my DH about it before. He wasn’t completely opposed but not completely on board. He really wants an August baby but I can’t guarantee it will take in December anyways.
Hmmm I’ve got a lot of thinking to do…

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