Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Fuck me....

Author's Note: I want to apologize in advance about the possible insensitivity that may come across in my post. Please understand that it is in no way meant. I know their are so many good women out there who have worse infertility problems then I do. I really just needed to release emotions that I rarely get to release.

I cannot begin to explain the amount of fury I'm feeling right now. 
My temperature this morning went down to 96.9 and no ovulation has been detected yet. Yesterday on Research mode Fertility Friend had me with an ovulation day of CD16. It is CD20 and they have been going all over the place that it is impossible to tell even on Research mode!
I want to scream, cry, throw things and have at least 5 margaritas right now.....
I have been temping since March and I always ovulate. I have regular periods with cycles ranging from 28-32 days. Is this really going to be the month I don't ovulate? After all the work WE put in!
I timed everything perfectly....
and there is a chance I might not even ovulate.

I though HSG's were suppose to help women. Now I wish I never have had one. Last months cycle I ovulated soooo late and who knows what the hell is happening this month. 
I guess there is truth to you shouldn't fix what isn't broken.
I think I'm going to try Soy Iso Flaves next cycle. I spent too many years of my life avoiding birth control and any medicines that could potentially alter or hurt my chances of conception one day and for what?
I have nothing to lose....
I have my follow-up appointment tommorow at 10am to discuss the results of all our combined testing. I have a few words for my R.E.
Can't fucking wait...

I would like to leave you all with a quote. Since I am usually the person who sees the sun even through the darkest skies I don't want to leave you with my gloomy, depressing mood (even though the best of us have our days)

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Winston Churchill

1 comment:

  1. How frustrating! I have been there with waiting to O before and it's one of the most torturous waits ever. It could be an anovulatory cycle, but I hope there's still a chance it's just late. I have heard that HSG's can screw up a cycle or two after. Some women have severe cramping following and altered cycles. We can go through so many invasive procedures, that at least you deserve to O after all that. I totally get your disgust with the whole process right now, and I hope you get some real answers at your RE apt!